The topic of my discussion today is LOVE!
The post valentine brought about a salmagundi of emotional reflections. We speak of love and affection and the interpersonal relations between the sexes, and of course the similar ones too.
What is Love?
Love is when you start doing things for the other party unconditionally and wholeheartedly.
Love can be expressed in several ways such as buying your partner a gift, a kiss from your other half, spending time with each other etc..
Then it brings about a question: How does one find their way into a relationship and start falling in Love?
According to Knapp's Model, there are 10 stages of relational development- initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding,differentiating, circumscribing,stagnating,avoiding and terminating.
This model describes the progression and development of relationship as a series of stages which everybody will go through regardless of the chronological sequence.
I wish to depict this relationship development of love in the form of my all time favourite love drama 'Goong'.
It is one of the biggest Korean drama serials that took Asia by storm. It depicted a dream come true of a common girl and a crown prince. The serial intertwined several moments of love, jealousy, hate and passionate reconciliations. It also encompassed previous generations' scandals amongst the royalties and conniving politics that changed the fate of many, and consequentially, the innocent ones too.
In all rationale sense, the likelihood of a commoner getting hitched to a royalty is almost impossible. But putting this aside, lets look at how Love and relationship developed.
Firstly, boy meets girl, boy observes and does screening of the girls appearance and her behaviour. He doesn't have good impression of the girl. The girl, similarly does not like the snobby and haughty prince. However, bonded by the decree of royal marriage, they have no choice but to be bonded to one another in the eyes of the public and law and to put up with each other's weird habits.
From there onwards, as they spend more time interacting with one another, they start to disclose information of themselves to the other, start to increase their commitment towards one another and, also start to have more physical contact with one another.
Despite all the lovey dovey signals, both the prince and girl continue to constantly fight because of communication problems and individual differences. This then results in alienation of each and even almost the termination of the relationship.
However, all turns out well for the prince and girl there was a happily ever after ending as we all know sometimes it is the opposite that attracts. The prince realised immortally pure heart of the girl whilst the girl realises that her supposedly almighty husband does have a soft and penetrable side too..
There are ups and downs in all relationship and we all bound to follow a few stages in Knapp's model though not chronologically. Some will have happy endings like the one in the clip but not all turn out well. However, if the differences between a couple cannot be resolved, termination of the relationship might be the last resort.
There is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved.- George Sand -
Love is not a necessity, but it is life’s greatest gift and luxury. Love does not expect anything but love in return. Love can be strong, yet so fragile.
ReplyDeleteFalling in love is the sweetest thing that could happen. it started off from akwardness and a little shyness to speaking honey-coated words to lovey dovey acts.
ReplyDeleteThe sweetness comes from the bottom of the heart.
-shimmering starzzz-
How does one find their way into a relationship and start falling in Love?
ReplyDeletei just read an interesting article from cleo, mar edition on "are you a love fool?" which may help to answer the question for singles.
"Singles tend to be obessed with finding love only if they can see it happen. However, you'll rarely get that love at first sight feeling.
One shld learn to let it go and just enjoy a date free from passing harsh judgements and take pressure off to learn more abt your date the same way as you would with a friend. Focus on your feel during a date then obsessing over your checklist.
you'll be surprised how the most unexpected people actually bring out the best in you."
Hi Shu Mei..
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments..
About the Knapp's model is not exactly like a checklist of relationships.. it is not chronological in order and you do not have to strictly adhere to it.. In a sense, the model is charting out the development of relationship: the invisible process that happened in a relationship that we are unaware off.. We do not consciously know that the things that we do and how we behave is actually been listed done by Knapp's model..Eg. the screening process and self-presentation process that we most often do without realizing is observed by Knapp as the initiation stage..
Knapp's model is basically a compilation of behaviours he observed in relationships, and assigning them into different stages..
Thus, its not exactly a checklist :)